Man, I don't know

This is from a page I found in one of my notebooks just now:

Rocco The Lobster
In a tank in a faux Chinese restaurant
Wondering what happened to the sea
The sea got weird

Flubwablab the Monkey-Faced Loon
monkey-faced looooooooooon
what does he do
he's the Slenderman of farts and tickles
Slenderman of farts and tickles

Murph the Go-Fuck-Yourself Hamster
He has tattoos
And big (for a hamster) fuck-off arms!
He will break a goddamn wheel!

Dewdrop the Radioactive Stabwound

Orifice Joe and his Howling Trapeze Fish

Little Wonky Butt Farts and His Magic Ding-a-Ling of Science!

Then it's a few programming notes and reminders. I have no memory of writing this, and it's in a work notebook.

Silver Surfer, King of Devil's Advocates

and to think that Joe Satriani wrote a song about you.

fart.

I look like cable TV! →

source

Makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.

Bunk Moreland is my patronus for the rest of 45's existence.

Witness me

All the way in with juuuuust enough room for me to drive it home.

Punkass poseurs driving jacked-up F-150s with nary a bedliner scratch are on notice.

The Honda Fit: The preferred TARDIS of metrosexual DIY-ers the world around.

...To Fly?

I was invented the same year as the modern Hollywood blockbuster. To celebrate this, I have taken a notion to watch the top 3 grossing films from every year of the first decade of my life. Some points worth considering here:

• The question of going by total worldwide vs. domestic box office. Domestic means I can do "Animal House" instead of "Jaws 2" and "Kramer vs. Kramer" and "The Amityville Horror" instead of "Moonraker", but I'm having a hard time justifying missing "Alien".
• I have seen a lot of these. Science dictates that I must do it again.
• Star Wars. The movie is called Star Wars. I don't give a good goddamn what George says.
• Related: I will only watch the despecialized editions.
• Wow, there's a lot of Stallone here. Can any one man process that much?
• Raiders, the movie that proved that it's okay not only to punch Nazis but also melt their faces off of their skulls, will be watched in black and white. I may do the actual Soderbergh silent cut. WHY NOT BOTH?

"I love you," you said,

when we'd stopped laughing, and then: "...no, I love us."

Us was improbable. Us shouldn't have worked. But now me is we is us; I am more limb than man. I'd wither without your blood flowing into me.

You're my favorite deputy.

The Chocolate Box: A Play in Four Acts

that's all I can stands, I can't stands no more

The fuck is wrong with people

In which a perfectly good cooler is roont

A cooler, a 2 3/8" hole saw, a recipe for sous vide Meyer lemon cheesecake with raspberry coulis, and thou.

In canning jars, no less. Hipsters have discovered our ways.

He'd still be a cat, you know?

Michael K. Williams asks: Am I typecast?

Omar Little is a character worthy of Shakespeare, and Williams' performance is a big part of why Omar and "The Wire" became what they became. But I remember watching him my first time through and thinking this guy is wonderful. I wonder if they'll ever let him do anything else.

Via MetaFilter.

Hidden Treasures

I've been hunting for vintage dinner plates online and my tracking cookie ads have gotten unexpectedly great:

This is WAY better than when they show me stuff I already bought on Amazon.

git branch feature-whoopsie

Never forget that everyone is faking it at least as hard as you are.

It is the 41st Millennium

FORGET THE POWER OF TECHNOLOGY AND SCIENCE, FOR SO MUCH HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN, NEVER TO BE RE-LEARNED. FORGET THE PROMISE OF PROGRESS AND UNDERSTANDING, FOR IN THE GRIMDARK FUTURE OF PROJECT MANAGEMENT THERE IS ONLY KRULLPEN.

Him got a backpack

The trainer said we had to

We were forced

We did not do this because it's adorable and also carry your own poo bags for a change

Definitely had nothing to do with OUTWARD HOUND

They're good doors, Brent

Legion

I need one of you guys to watch this pilot so we can discuss our feelings about it. For it has awoken the four-dimensional kaleidoscopic psycho-imp that slumbers in my heart

KAFKA // Aesthetics →

One of my all-time favorite movies. Just gorgeous and weird and full of crazy-gigglin'.

More than half my life ago, the video store on Campbell Avenue ran a going-out-of-business sale on their entire inventory. I realized they had a rental copy of "Kafka", which was no longer being produced on VHS. You couldn't buy it anywhere. Even rental places couldn't order it anymore.

I adored this movie. It's one of two films in my life that I watched for the first time, wondered what the hell was that, and started over immediately.

So I ran out there, and awash in a sea of $5 gently-used rental copies of "Pumpkinhead" and "Night of the Comet", there it was. Marked for the bargain price of $70.

I didn't have $70. So I walked away, freshly educated in the truth that sometimes nerdery is for people with money.

Seeing lighting this good makes me a little sad. Feels like a dying art, like watchmaking and hand-engraving.

I approve this message

Signs and Wonders

I was, for a time, a Southern Baptist. I got pretty well steeped in the superstitious culture of looking for signs and hidden messages from God.

Well, here's a pretty big one.

TAN DUMPLORD

LORD DAMPNUT

TORN DUMPLAD

DUMP LARDTON

DAMN TURDLOP

DAMP OLD RUNT

MR. ADULT POND